“Every morning for eleven years, Jason drove twenty miles to work.  He felt that he intimately knew every aspect of the geography between those two locations.  One day, his car was in the repair shop, and he drove his son’s van to work.  Jason was amazed at all the new things he saw.  By sitting in a driver’s seat nearly a foot higher than he was used to, he was able to see over fences, shrubs, and trees.  There were all kinds of interesting ‘new’ things to see.  Our daily lives, like Jason’s routine, are filled with structures that keep us from seeing more accurately.  A change in perspective can greatly alter how we see and relate to the world.”   -Robert Quinn, Deep Change (published by Jossey-Bass), pg. 65.

People who have good character are always seeking ways to improve. Frequently, a change in perspective directly results in improved character.  In the story above, Jason’s new perspective relating to physical vision was the result of good fortune and not deliberate choice. But when you are on the path to improved character, on occasion you will need to deliberately choose to look at life differently both spiritually and emotionally. But how do you change your spiritual and emotional perspective? Here are some suggestions:

The daily reading of scripture allows a different perspective. A local CEO told me that each day he reads a minimum of ten verses from Proverbs when he first returns from lunch. By mid-day he often finds himself allowing circumstances to govern his thoughts and feelings.   His daily reading of ten verses from Proverbs is not his primary daily devotion, but Proverbs does remind him that the core issues of life are faced by every generation. Reading Proverbs does not necessarily change his emotions, but its wisdom does elevate his perspective.

Another approach is to daily include a brief conversation with someone who is good for your soul. Another leader I know has five people he calls for ten minutes each week. He has each scheduled for a different day of the week and he has committed that no phone call will ever take more than ten minutes. Some days he asks what they are reading or what truth or “ah ha” thought have they had that week.

Still another is to write out a daily prayer of praise. Most of our prayer life is request dominated rather than gratitude grounded. Our prayer requests are about what we want and praise is about what God has provided. When we change our thoughts from ourselves to God, we will have a change in perspective

Today, take a step down the character path by elevating your perspective.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

You are invited to watch “Character Moments” each Wednesday morning
on
CBS42’s Wake Up Alabama
or at
www.cbs42.com/wakeup

Most of the posts on the characterpath.com blog are directed toward individuals; however, organizations, communities and corporations have character as well. The question is not does your organization have character but is it good character or bad character?

Good corporate character begins with good organizational values.  When individuals with good character align themselves together it does not necessarily mean the resulting organization or entity will have good character. Their values need to be stated and understood by all involved. Everyone organization should have a worthy purpose. Businesses have a purpose to make money but they need a purpose that relates to the good of humanity. For example, a small town businessman reminds employees daily that while they do need to make a profit, his business exists to provide quality products at low cost in a profitable manner and thus build a better and stronger community. If he can’t profitably sell products that will help the community, then his company is unnecessary. Since many of his customers are on the lower side of the socio-economic scale and the owners are affluent, how he and officers of his small corporation treat the customer is important—the customer/owner relationship does contribute directly to the quality of community life.

Organizations need to have policies that are built on honesty not just productivity. One company in our region added several personal days for employees while reducing the number of sick days. Now employees can take care of personal business without having to lie and deceive. Many companies now have personal days as well as sick days. It is never right to deceive even when it increases profits or lowers criticism.

Organizations need to show respect for individuals. We do not worship individuals but we need to recognize the worth of individual. There is no excuse for being mean-spirited and disrespectful to employees, even when terminating their employment. Even the wording of corporate policies should give evidence that customers, clients and employees are created in the image of God.

But what do you do if you think the company you work for or the non-profit in which you serve lacks character?

First, you are part of the organization. Examine your own values and how you implement them in context of the organization.

Second, respectfully speak with your supervisor and ask what the organization’s values are before you attempt to correct the company.

Third, express you concerns and give specific recommendations of how you and the rest of the organization can have character. Use “we” language rather than “you” language.

Developing character does not require the work of a brain surgeon or an organizational genius, but it does require people with good hearts that give direction to good minds.

I am decisive!
I am not sure I am decisive. 
I am sometimes decisive.
I once was decisive.
I think I may want to be decisive. 
Do I have to be decisive? 

Character is usually revealed in the decisions we make. Good decisions most often reveal good character and bad decisions most often reveal bad character. The reason I avoided the word “always” is that sometimes folks stumble or accidentally make good or bad decisions; however, character is never the result of accidents but choices. Yes, to have good character you need to be decisive.

Indecision is related to character.

This past month a well-known athlete is continually in the news because he can’t make up his mind regarding whether or not he wants to retire.  After an agonizing decision and news conference filled with tears, the glory boy of the gridiron announced he was retiring.  His football team made plans to retire his jersey and induct him into franchise’s Hall of Fame. Now he has changed his mind, which is neither illegal nor immoral.  Yet, because his actions will impact his teammates and specifically the young man who has been anointed by the coaches to be his replacement, some folks are now questioning the character of the former superstar.  The player’s fans who are clamoring for what they perceive to be his rightful throne as King of the Quarterback, are questioning the character of the team management because team management says he can return only as back-up. Yet when you look at the past history of both the player and the team management all of the involved are probably people of good character. It appears that the quarterback is man of character and so is team management. But the player’s indecision makes both he and management doubt each other’s character. Their accusations could bring out bad character traits in both parties.

Indecision can bring out the worst in all people impacted by a non-decision. But why are we indecisive and what can we do to become more decisive?

Indecision is the usually result of making decisions based on feelings. When we decide based on feeling we will change our minds as soon as the feelings change. Changing our minds is often perceived as being indecisive. This is especially true when we allow the emotion of fear to control our decisions. Fear leads us to make half-hearted decisions that can be temporarily changed when we have the slightest fragrance of courage. But as the whiff of courage evaporates, we change our minds again. Many people make commitments and then back away because of fear of rejection, failure, or the unknown. When politicians change their opinions we say they are flip-flopping and say they lack character, yet when we do it we are called moody.

To be decisive you must make decisions based on facts and faith.  Some decisions can be reached with confidence by a thorough examination of the facts.  Studying the facts requires time and disciplined objectivity. Other decisions you make because by faith you accept some moral and spiritual absolutes. People without absolutes will be indecisive. Do you suppose that is why our society changes it mind so quickly?  Polls taken one week before an election or even as they are leaving the voting both do not necessarily reveal what happens in the voting both. Some folks apparently change their minds by the time they talk to the exit pollsters.

Know what you believe; only then will you be more likely to know what to decide. Character does involve faith. Good character involves good faith and Christian character involves knowing what you believe as a Christian.  Today, take a step down the character path committing to have a biblical Christian faith.

The following is taken from Stephen M.R. Covey’s  book The Speed of Trust published by Free Press:

I particularly like the story of the business student who did well on her final exam until she came to the last question: “What is the name of the person who cleans your dorm?”  She was incredulous.  How could she be expected to know the answer to that?  And what in the world did it have to do with her business degree?  Finally, she asked the professor if the question really counted on their final grade.  “Indeed it does!” he replied.  “Most of you dream about being the president and CEO of a successful company.  But success is a team effort.  A good leader takes nothing for granted and recognizes the contributions made by everyone on the team-even those people who appear to do the most insignificant jobs.”  (pg. 157)

While respecting authority is important, it is also important to respect humanity for just being humanity. Respect is valuing others and leaders are often tempted to value people only for what they contribute. Compensation and salary are ways to compensate employees for what they contribute, but every person needs to be respected for being created by God. We may not respect what they do or even how they do it.  However, we are obligated to be respectful of them. This does not eliminate the need to hold people responsible for their actions; however, in so doing we must also recognize that they have worth.

A secretary who works for a Christian non-profit organization told me that often her immediate supervisor who sees her every day will not speak to her for several days at a time.  Recently, she realized that he had not called her by name in almost month.  Even though their desks are less than 40 feet apart, he chooses to communicate by e-mail. Yet, he has her send personalized birthday gifts to his supervisors’ children on their birthdays.  This man who has a great work ethic and is known for scrupulous use of his time and the non-profit’s money has character flaw.  He apparently needs to hear that Aretha Franklin hit of the 70’s one more time when she belted out: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Today take a step down the character path by seeing every person as one of God’s creation.  Speak, smile and acknowledge them.  Not only will you be a better person, you might help them to become better as well.

BTW: Covey’s book quoted in the opening of this post is must read.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

You are invited to watch “Character Moments” each Wednesday morning
on
CBS42’s Wake Up Alabama
or at
www.cbs42.com/wakeup

“If I had not had so many problems during my early years I know I would have figured out life by now.”  These words were spoken to me by man in his twenties whose moral and spiritual life was in shambles. His suffering in his youth was not the result of tragedy but of a long history in his family of trying to take the easy way. His parents applied pressure on his elementary school teachers to give him passing grades, his parents used influence to get him out of military service during the Viet Nam conflict, and his parents for the most part lived off of inheritance. The primary problems of his youth were a self-diagnosed learning disability, a high achieving sister, and possessing no athletic ability while attending a small town high school in Texas with a jock saturated culture.  The last time I spoke with him he was getting close to fifty and still morally and spiritually bankrupt.

Contrast his statement with these words, “Without great tribulation there is no great illumination.” These words were spoken by John Sung who in only 12 years was used to lead thousands to the Christian faith in China even though he died at age 43.  John had PhD in chemistry from a major university in the United States. He had unusual gift of explaining deep spiritual truth in simple language that the commoner could understand. Due to health problems he often had to teach from a sitting down or lying down position. He experienced rejection not only by government authorities, but often by Christians who resented his call for radical obedience. Rather than blaming hard life for failure, he really believed that it was a source of his success. (For additional details read Christian History and Biography magazine Spring 2008 edition.)

Our culture is so comfort seeking that it has practically eliminated the possibility of gaining the illumination necessary for character development. Remember the words of James 1:2-4—“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

The path to character is not one that seeks suffering, but it is not one that seeks comfort either. Character is formed when we seek to do right in a wrong world.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

Our civilized culture appears to be disintegrating like a snowball in Florida on the fourth of July.  This week there have been two highly publicized stories about the number acts of violence on school busses that are being caught on video by classmates and viewed as entertainment by both students and their parents.  Teachers living in fear of students and law enforcement and fire fighting personnel being pelted by rocks and bottles thrown by ten- to twelve-year-old kids made the news as well. According to some reports almost three quarters of high school students have cheated in taking tests or writing assignments.

What are we to do other than wring our hands and blame everyone?  Where do we start to turn the tide back toward character?

Before we go home and give our children that “when I was your age” lecture, let’s begin with ourselves.  The issue that must be addressed is the need for respect and the place to begin is with us…the adults. Children generally take our flaws and slightly accelerate them so they are more noticeable.  So, what must we, as adults, do to develop the virtue of respect?

First, recognize that everyone has as much value in the sight of God as you. We are God’s creation both great and small. To disrespect a person is to show disrespect to the creator. If people are the result of a cosmic accident we are going to treat each other like an accident. Respect begins with understanding that all people are created in the image of God. By no means does this mean that anyone is perfect, but when you disrespect a person’s existence you are disrespecting the God who created them. The question, “can you be good without God?” is frequently debated and the answer is no!

Second, get in the habit of displaying good manners. Yes, this is written to adults but the most commonly accepted courtesies are now frequently ignored, even by well-educated Christian folks who don’t know the difference between honesty and bluntness. Saying please, thank you, and opening doors for others are not just things you teach your children.

Third, your choice of words reveals your level of respect. The vile language now found in the playgrounds only reflects what has been tolerated in the workplace for several years. A recent executive who was fired because he called some women in his office ” whores and b****** ” used as his defense that everyone knew he was kidding and that he had even called his wife those terms. He even used two video clips from movies to show it was now common practice. Even Christians often resort to negative and pejorative language describing others; of course, it is supposedly done in the name of righteous indignation.

Fourth, honor positions of authority. We do not have to agree with authority to respect the position. In this election year, disagree with the policies and politics of others and even indicate where you disapprove of the character, but don’t despise their position.

BTW:  The Case for Character by Drayton Nabers is an important read for adults working on character. It is not a light and easy read as it will require you to work, but so does character development.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

Frequently, we complain about the lack of character in others—especially when their lack of character has created problems for us and complicated our lives. Other than wringing our hands (or wringing their necks!), is there anything we can do to help the character of others?

The answer is yes! People of character not only want to be the best they can be, they also desire to bring out the best in others. Dr. Aubrey Daniels in the excellent book Bringing Out the Best In People reminds us that we help people change their lives through positive reinforcement rather than through criticism.  This is very difficult for most of us because we prefer the role of diagnostician rather than healer. In order to help others become better people, take notice and reward when they do what is right rather than just keep score when they do wrong.

You will be a better person and help others to become better by daily looking for what people do right and immediately thanking them. It may still be necessary to render negative evaluations, but you have not earned the right to criticize until you have given positive reinforcement. I know you are going to say, “But what about constructive criticism?”  However, I think that it is an oxymoron that the one who is criticized has to personally decide whether or to use criticism for a constructive purposes. In the name of “constructive criticism,” many harsh, punitive, and destructive words have been issued. Let’s be honest enough to admit that we often want the criticism to hurt so that the other person will recognize our anger without our having to say forthrightly, “I am very angry at you.”   Remember, when you look for the good and reward it you may discover that there is less bad to punish.

Today, take someone with you down the character path by thanking them for exhibiting good character.

BTW: I strongly encourage you to read Bringing Out the Best In People by Dr. Aubrey Daniels

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

Developing character should never be thought of as discipline that is developed and practiced in isolation. While not all people with character are extrovert personalities with infectious smiles, people with character will have good relationships. There are many books written on how to build good relationships, yet we often read and then forget what we have read. Below are three easy reminder tips on how to develop relationships that reveal character:

Be courteous to everyone. While courtesy is often thought of as a virtue for wimps, it is very similar to the fruit of the Spirit called kindness. To be courteous does not rule out the need to be direct and honest, but it always involves proper motives. Courteous people desire to help and never hurt others.

Keep your promises. Almost all litigation and most divorces are the result of broken promises. If you promise to play with your kids today….by all means do it. If you have promised the check is in the mail, go immediately and put in the mail. If you told someone you would pray for them…pray my friend!

Serve others. This sounds too simple but people of character see needs and meet them rather than have concerns and then criticize. The strongest relationships are often those that were forged in the furnace of need. The people you are the closest to are most likely the people you have served or those who have served you. 

Every good children’s Sunday School teacher addresses these three issues frequently; we shouldn’t ignore them just because they are simple and elementary. Character building is not exactly brain surgery, but it will require major attention to your heart.

BTW: If you have not read Joyce Mitchell’s new book Teams Work, I encourage you to get a copy.  It is published by New Hope Publishers.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

Several years ago, I heard a speaker who had just experienced a traumatic divorce say that his life had not turned out as he had planned.  His plans for an All-American family consisting of a wife, two kids, a dog, a mortgage, and a mini-van were replaced by bitter divorce, a daughter who hated him, a son who disliked his mother, being treated like a dog, and a mortgage not to pay for a house but attorney fees.  Yet, to some extent, he had gotten exactly what he planned for.  He acknowledged that sexual immorality and alcoholism were a part of his life for the 15 years of his marriage.  Having seen the error of his way after his divorce, he was speaking about the potential of the recovery movement.  While I understood his intent, it was inaccurate to suggest that his situation was not the life he had planned.  He obviously did plan his actions; he had not planned the consequences.

Planning is not just an organizational skill, it is also a trait of good character.  Planning as a character virtue is not about making a list and organizing your day, but it is about planning your actions.  You can choose your actions, but you cannot choose the resulting consequences.  However, the consequences we experience or suffer are the direct result of the actions we take.  Every action we take determines the consequences that will follow.

No one intends to be friendless and lonely.  Yet, many are that way because they chose during the early stages of their lives to invest only in themselves.  The consequences of isolation are the direct result of ignoring the needs of others in order to meet their own desires.

Many people overspend and say they never planned to be broke. Yet their overspending was a form of planning.  Other folks choose to lie and steal and then resent the consequences that result from their actions.

If you have character you will choose your actions carefully, realizing that your actions are a plan that will result in beneficial—or detrimental—consequences.  Chose your thoughts, deeds, and words carefully and you will be planning for a life of character.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com

Related Quote:

 ”Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things - I am tempted to think there are no little things.” –Bruce Barton

“What we have here is a failure to communicate,” the famous line from the movie, Cool Hand Luke, is also frequently the first line lecture supervisors give when attempting to improve organizational effectiveness. It is assumed that if we could only increase communication, we could increase productivity.

While many problems are the result of a failure to communicate, some of the most painful and difficult problems are the result of too much communication. For the driven can-do personality it is difficult too imagine too much communication. Type A folks assume that their words soothe or solve everything.  Yet, often silence is more powerful and healing than words. The late Sam Rayburn, the legendary Speaker of the House, said, “No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.”

Today before you attempt to fix broken dysfunctional relationships and ineffective organizations with your words of wisdom, begin with a character check. Does something really need to be said or do you just have the need to say something. Silence might be the best tool in your repair kit.  People of character not only can endure the sound of silence they often realize it is often the prelude to harmony.

Goodness and grace to you from a fellow-traveler on the character path.
Gary Fenton
Characterpath.com